Everything About How to Invite to a Dance

Inviting to Dance

I know of one dance that is quite different from what I am going to talk about here - tango. In tango traditionally you invite using the "Cabeceo". The translation is "nod of the head", and it is a non-verbal invitation to dance.

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon as ebook and paperback.

Basically, it works like this: The man looks at the woman, and when she meets his gaze, he nods with his head to indicate he wants to dance. If she accepts, she will move towards him, they meet and dance. If she doesn't accept, she will look away. In addition, a similar Cabeceo is also used between leads when entering the dance floor. You "ask" a dancing lead with a cabeceo if it is ok to enter the dance floor. If you get the Cabeceo back, you may enter. Another detail from tango is what is called a "Mirada" from a follow to a lead. In a way, it is like asking someone...

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Challenges for Beginner Leads and How to Conquer Them

If you are a social dancer I believe you are very smart! It's one of the best decisions you could make. Social dancing has so many benefits, but besides being an exciting and rewarding experience, it can also be very challenging or even frustrating. For follows, and maybe even more so for leads. 

As a new dance lead, you may face a number of challenges that can make it difficult to progress and enjoy the experience. Here are five common challenges that a new lead may face when starting to dance, and also how to make it all easier. 

  1. Learning the Basic Steps: One of the biggest challenges for a dance lead is learning the basic steps of the dance. All dances have a specific set of basic steps that are used to build more complex patterns and moves. Learning the basic steps of a dance can be challenging, but with time and practice, you'll be able to master them. However, the actual steps are not the biggest...

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10 Quick Ways to Make Your Dance Partner Happier

bachata kizomba salsa tango Feb 22, 2023

In this post I quickly share 10 ways (in no specific order) you can make your dance partner happier when they dance with you. It is not all you can do, just a few pointers. You can read muuuch more in my book - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

  1. Be attentive and present:
    Focus on your partner and be fully present in the moment you share together. This will make your partner feel appreciated and valued. 

  2. Maintain good posture:
    Maintain good posture and body alignment, as this will make it easier and more comfortable for your partner to dance with you. Do not bend over or under your partner. 

  3. Make sure you have good hygiene:
    Take a shower before the dance and wear clean clothes. Use some deodorant. Brush your teeth and maybe use chewing gum or mints. This will make you more pleasant to dance with.

  4. Dress appropriately:
    Dress appropriately and make sure your outfit is suitable for that dance, and...

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10 Ways to Improve Your Social Dancing

bachata kizomba salsa tango Feb 07, 2023

No matter if you dance salsa, bachata, tango, kizomba, urban kiz, west coast swing, foxtrot, lindy hop or any other social dance, here are 10 tips on how to improve your dancing! Let's get to it!

  1. Practice:
    There is no substitute for practice. If you want to become good, you have to dance a lot. Regular practice will help you to refine your movements, build muscle memory, and become more confident on the dance floor. It also gives you an opportunity to try new techniques, experiment with different styles, and work on timing and coordination with your dance partners. How much you practice depends on how much time you have, and how fast you want to become better. 
  2. Take lessons:
    Unless you are unbelievably talented and just do things right straight away you should take lessons. Taking lessons from a professional dance instructor can give you guidance and feedback on your technique. An instructor can help you to correct any bad habits, provide new ideas, and help you to...
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How to Start the Dance with a New Partner

I recently got this question after one of my regular classes. At least it was something along these lines: 

"How do I start the dance"

I have to say it's an excellent question. And as so many questions, the answer is "it depends". But hey, don't stop reading yet! That's not the end of the story!

If we dance with someone we already know, theoretically we can go full speed directly. But it is normally much nicer to start a bit slow first

And if it is someone we don't know? How do we start? Glad you asked...

This is how I usually go about it. And this is valid for the kiz/kizomba scene. If you dance salsa, bachata or any other dance, you can apply this type of progression to them too, but using techniques from those dances. 

First of all, I try to find a good position—a good hug. I try to make it as comfortable as possible, and I search for a position in hands, chest, embrace, head and so on that is comfortable for us both. 

After that I...

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Who Invites to Dance?

We are in the 2020s. The world is more and more equal and open-minded.

Even if traditionally there was the rule that men dance with women and that men invite to dance, now we increasingly see women dancing with women, and also men dancing with men. And it is very common that women ask men to dance, no matter what role they take on the dance floor.

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

I know that some women still struggle to invite men. They feel that they shouldn't have to, or that it is the responsibility of the men.

However, I believe that we have reached a point where it is hardly possible to maintain that position any longer if you want to dance.

  • First of all, we have the fact that there are often proportionally more women in the social scene. So, with women outnumbering men, women are already at a disadvantage if they want to dance. There is more competition for...
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How to Get More Dances in the Socials

Nice to have you here! In this post we talk about how to get more dances in the socials, festivals and parties, no matter what dance skills or other qualities we have! And no matter if we dance kizomba, urban kiz, salsa, bachata or any other social dance. 

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

"So far, we have covered a lot of topics that are not dance related, and also pretty quick and easy to fix. If you still struggle to get dances, even if you have made all these quick fixes, I have a couple of more tips for you.

First of all, think of how you can reverse the things we talked about in the part about Invitation Smarts. I mean, if we, on the one hand, want to avoid rejection, we have to find the right moment to invite. We have to be smart about it and ask people when they are most likely to say yes. But if we also want to be invited more often, we can reverse...

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Dance Smarts - For Leads & Follows

Nice to have you here! In this post we talk about something I call dance smarts. If you are a lead, follows will love if you do this. And if you are a follow, leads will too!

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

Be Gentle

This might seem obvious, but it is still far too common to not include here. Good technique is not painful at all. Poor technique can be. 

  • First of all, don't squeeze your partner. Not the hand, not the body.
  • Don't hold your partner's fingers. If you hold the fingers, doing any kind of turn might also turn your partners' fingers in their place. No more dancing with that partner. Maybe ever.
  • Avoid pushing and pulling. Your partner wants to keep their arms in place, no need to pull them off. If you are gentle, everything will work out better. Remember, leads send a signal. They make a suggestion. It is up to the follow to interpret that signal and...
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Creating the Best Partner Experience When You Dance

Nice to have you here! In this post, we will cover how we can create the best possible experience for ourselves and our partner when we dance. It is something that everyone can do no matter if you are a beginner or an advanced dancer. If I would summarize these different points I think I would call it "showing up for real".  

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

When we dance, if we want to create a good connection with our partner, we need to be present. We need to be there and then, both physically and mentally. We cannot be thinking about something else, whether it is work, relationships or any problems in life.

We need to pay attention to what they are doing, what is happening around us and in the music as we dance. When we are truly present, giving our undivided attention to the dance, the communication in dance will be better, and...

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Tips for Your Personal Dance Level

Here are some tips for dancers on different levels - in salsa, bachata, kizomba, urban kiz, tango or whatever social dance you enjoy. We start out with beginners...

This is an excerpt from a bonus text in one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

Beginner Dancers

First of all, don't hesitate to go dancing. The longer you wait, the longer you miss out, and the harder it will be to dare to go. You don't have to be a great dancer to enjoy dancing.

When I started with capoeira, I went to classes for some time, but I think I took at least ten classes before I went into the roda, before I put anything that I had learnt to the test. I started seeing people who had just taken one class or a couple of classes going into the roda, and I began to wonder what I was doing. Why didn't I enter? Waiting for too long just made it more and more difficult as the pressure to perform got higher.

The earlier you start,...

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