How to Get More Dances in the Socials

Nice to have you here! In this post we talk about how to get more dances in the socials, festivals and parties, no matter what dance skills or other qualities we have! And no matter if we dance kizomba, urban kiz, salsa, bachata or any other social dance. 


This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.


"So far, we have covered a lot of topics that are not dance related, and also pretty quick and easy to fix. If you still struggle to get dances, even if you have made all these quick fixes, I have a couple of more tips for you.

First of all, think of how you can reverse the things we talked about in the part about Invitation Smarts. I mean, if we, on the one hand, want to avoid rejection, we have to find the right moment to invite. We have to be smart about it and ask people when they are most likely to say yes. But if we also want to be invited more often, we can reverse engineer it from the same text.

We have to make it easy to invite. And since everyone has some kind of fear of rejection, we have to make it seem likely that we will say yes. We have to be approachable. Here are some ways to achieve that:

  • Make sure you are in the right spot, where there is good "circulation" of dancers. There is usually such a spot on the dance floor. Where do people get on and off the floor? This is an excellent place to stand if you want to be invited.
  • Make sure to have the right position. First of all, it is smart to stand up and not sit. Sitting could be interpreted as if you want to rest. So, stand up, just next to the dance floor, maybe even with feet pointing toward the floor.
  • Make sure to have the focus. Looking at the dance floor shows where your focus is. Don't look around for a partner too desperately.
  • Make sure to have the right company. And in this case, if you want to maximize the chances of being invited, well, the best company for that is no one. When we are standing alone, we are easier to ask. The bigger the group, the more terrifying it is to invite someone in it.
  • Make sure to have the right movement. Move to the music a bit, but maybe not so much that it seems you are enjoying yourself more on your own. Just enough to show you are eager to dance.
  • Make sure to look people in the eyes. It is easier to invite someone who looks you in the eyes, as opposed to someone who doesn't or someone who looks away. So, people passing you by, look them in the eye. And when people walk off the floor after a dance, it is also good to get some eye contact going.

These are some tips that can dramatically change the number of invites you get. In short, make it easy to invite.

In addition to the above, you can also try this: 

  • Go earlier to the parties. Get a couple of dances when there is less competition on the floor. You get some more dances in. You get to know some more people. And you are seen on the dance floor more.
  • If there is a class before the party/social, make sure to take it. You will change partners and "know" a bunch of them already before the party starts. It will be much easier to invite, both for you and for them.

Once you are seen on the floor, you tend to be invited more. Especially if it seems you are enjoying the dances. It shows you have the right attitude and are easy to have fun with. 


Suggestion - Get the book, or check the kizomba & fusion courses here

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