Dance with Confidence - Some tips for the social dance flooor

kizomba social dance Oct 28, 2021

Nice to have you here! 

In this post you will read about confidence and why it is important on the dance floor.

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

Dare to Invite

If you want to be in the dance scene and really make it pay off, you might need to invite yourself. No matter if you are a man or woman, these days, you will often have to stand on the sidelines and watch other people enjoying themselves if you only wait for others to invite you, if you expect always to be asked.

Inviting others to dance also makes a lot of things happen. 

  • First of all, you get to know more people. The more people who know you and have danced with you, the more people will have an easy time to invite you back. You have taken the first step. You already showed you wanted to dance with them. So, it is easy for them to continue. The stakes are lower. You make it easier for them to invite you back.
  • Secondly, social proof works. People don't have time to pay attention to who invited who. If you are seen on the dance floor a lot, people assume you are popular to dance with, which will make it more likely you get invited. Fake it 'til you make it, if you have to.

In general, people are friendly. People say yes. So, there is nothing to be afraid of.

Dare to Interact

Don't be afraid to interact with people around the dance floor. This might be easier said than done. I am an introvert, so I know what I am talking about. But it can be enough with small things. You don't need to walk up to a group of people in intimate conversation and ask them what they are talking about. That would be borderline creepy.

It can be enough to start saying "hi" to people when you walk past them - casual conversation when arriving or leaving. You can even exchange a few words about the weather. With any such interaction, next time you meet, the ice is already broken. You have already talked. And the more people who recognize your face, the better. You don't know each other, but it will be easier to invite you. And it will also be easier for you to ask them.

Dance with Confidence

This is easier said than done if you are a beginner. But realize this - we have all been beginners. Everyone starts somewhere. Don't be afraid that it shows. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

The only one who pays a lot of attention to your level is you. Most social dancers will dance with a beginner no matter what. People are not watching you. They are busy enjoying themselves on the dance floor, or maybe worrying what others think about them. This is a general mistake we make as humans. We can't get out of our head. We believe others pay attention to us all the time. The thing is, they are busy with their own lives and worries. So, don't worry!

I enjoy dancing with beginners. It is a great way to put my leading to the test, to try to perfect it. If I can make a beginner follow, I know my leading works. It is also an honour to be part of someone's introduction to this beautiful world. It can be an honour to be among the first dances. If you create a great experience in their early social dance life, you could be making memories for life for them. You could be the dance they will remember forever.

As a beginner, you are new to this world. Do what you can. Enjoy your first steps. And dance with confidence. If you can't fake it till you make it, just accept the pressure. It will maybe be there for a while, but it will eventually go away. We have all been there.

And remember, it is only outside our comfort zones that we grow!

Don't Make Excuses

There is no reason to make excuses before you enter the floor or when you dance. You don't need to say you are a beginner or not very good at dancing. If it is true, people might notice it anyway. There is no need to say it. It will only be reinforced in your own brain and start limiting your progress.

Try to relax and be comfortable at your level. Be confident in what you do know instead of focusing on what you don't know. And don't forget to enjoy the dance!

More Dances Later

When we dare to invite other people, when we interact outside the dance floor, when we dance with confidence and don't make unnecessary excuses, we will dance more. And when we dance more, we will get better.

The more people who know us and have a pleasant experience dancing with us, the more they will invite us. It will not happen overnight, but it will come.

And over time we will become good dancers too. And then our confidence will really grow.

I hope you enjoyed the post. Feel free to share if you do. =)

Have a nice day! 

Suggestion - Check the kizomba & fusion courses here


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